Last day blindness

It's my last day here at work. 3.5 years or so, and I'm out this bitch. Kinda sad. Just fingering your butt, I'm stoked as hell. Time to go make some damn money. Get mine, and get back, ya fucks.

Check this shit out. I went a little blind yesterday. Crazy. I was over in the valley showing my replacement where to go to get jobs and shit all day. We head back after a rigorous two hours at The Music Coop in Ashland. On our way back, I decide to take a funky route, which leaded to me having to shit napalm. So we roll up to this li'l rest area, and there's a car parked in front of the four shit-stalls. Now, there's no way to tell which one is occupied, because Oregon doesn't know about the deadbolt that states occupancy on the outside of the door. SSSHHH, don't tell.

Anyways, I take a guess, and head for the far right stall. Buddy, I guessed WRONG. As I open the door, laughing at some comment I had made to my replacement, I slowly panned my head in the direction of the opening door....












































...........just in time to see a 65 year old lady, mid-shit with TP in hand, deer-in-headlights-eyes, STANDING TO TRY AND CLOSE THE DOOR. By standing, I mean that drunken, akward crouch you do with your pants around your ankles, trying to reach for the extra TP roll under the sink, which is located just three feet too far away.

"Oh, Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed, backing away in horror.

She kept muttering in excited, nervous tones as the door closed, reaching for the lock. I swear to God, that lady will probably never, EVER, use a bathroom without locking it first. I'm sure my fits of laughter after the blindess subdued did not help her self-esteem any. In fact, I wasn't aware that a '97 Olds could burn rubber like that. Embarrasment is a powerful thing, I guess.