Fools




Alright Mr. Carl fucking Jr. I will not starve without you. You are an ass.

Who the fuck can't crack a fucking egg? Seriously. I've never seen a man wandering in the meat aisle, unsure what to buy. That's pretty damn gay. You take the meat, season it up with whatever you have and throw it on the damn BBQ. It's that damn easy. Get some 5 minute noodles and you're set.

Do you advertising exec's think you're cute? For god's sake. If a man can't crack open a fucking egg, he deserves to die. I'm sure you CEO's who can't fucking wash their own clothes can identify with that shit. But it's fucking stupid. Without you, guy's would lose weight, you fucking butt pirates.

You know what else shit's the bed? The six dollar burger. For $3.95. Hmm, a deal right? Well, when you pay the six bucks at a restaraunt, you get fries and a drink. So, a large order of fries and a large drink at Carl's will set you back 3 bucks, minimum. Suddenly $6.95 isn't such a hot fucking deal. Not to mention; when you go to a sit-down joint, they actually cook that fucking patty of beef, dress it up with fresh veggies, and make it TASTE good. I'd rather wait another 5 minutes knowing that my food is coming to me fresh, unique, and most likely cooked without the minimum wage rage that most fast-food workers posess.

So fuck you Carl's Jr. Fuck you and the fun boys you roll with. I'll crack my own fucking eggs.