I'm goin, goin, back, back to Cali, Cali...

Well,

This shit is finally settled. I've decided to accept the job offer that was given to me by a company in Sacramento, CA. The money is better then I've ever made, so that's a good thing. The bad thing is that it's IN CALIFORNIA. I'm an Oregonian through and through. I've spent the majority of my life despising those damn white-license-plated assholes. And now I'm gonna be one of them. I'm such a fucking sell-out.


You know what? Selling out feels good. Or maybe I'm confusing that with the warm-fuzzy feeling of knowing that I'll be able to pay my fucking electricity bill. It's about damn time. 23 years of being broke is plenty enough, I-thank-you-very-much.


This will finally allow me to purchase the quality alcohol that a liver like mine truly deserves. Honestly though, I doubt my liver would know the difference. I'm quite convinced that he's sitting in my body, writing and re-writing the first line to his suicide note. Focusing is hard when you're constantly being assaulted by the relentless Monarch Reserve...


Last Night:

So this week, as you know, I'm a bachelor. No Fiance, no kid, just me. Last night I took advantage of that to the fullest. I went to my old buddies house that I ain't seen in a coon's age (is that racist?). He just got done painting and re-carpeting his pussy palace, shit looked good. So now that I'm off probation (another story) and a legal-fucking-beaver, I decide to smoke out, since I haven't done that in days.

There's nothing worse than thinking you can still smoke like you used to in college. Because you know what? You fucking can't. Three fucking hits and I was smiling and giggling like a damn 6 year old girl who just farted in the bathtub.

That crap took hours to wear off, and all I wanted to do was get drunk and do the fucking runningman till I fell over. I had fucking blast watching the second volume of Aqua-Teen Hunger Force. But the fucking music with me being all pickled made me have flash-backs from frying. It was like watching some Oscar-nominated animated shit. It was that fucking champ.