It's official, I do have a penis. I thought it was important to share this with you all. See, all my life I thought I had a third arm between my legs. It wasn't abnormal for me to use this appendage to pick up dropped change, or small children.
However, when I got my first erection, I noticed that my pants would constrict the raising of my arm/penis, and I would inadvertantly lift one leg with the erection, thus causing me to lose my balance, and lay on my back with one slightly thicker leg up in the air. This was most embarassing, being like a turtle.
I went to the Dr., and the Dr. said, "Boy it'd take a whale just to give you head." (I spit hot fire)
He told me I'd never be normal like this. After a few hundred pictures he and some biker/nurse took of me, recommended I have an operation to make me more of the "norm".
And I do feel much better now. I feel like I fit in. But sometimes it's so damn hard to type on this little keyboard using these new metal shoes nailed on to my hands and feet.
This post is in rememberance of the brave soul who lost his life trying to get his freak on with a damn horse in Washington.
2 comments:
That was a sick verse. And well, you try to screw something that big, you're bound to get hurt.
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