Cops are Assholes

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I want to hear your stories of the biggest asshole of a cop you ever ran into. I generally have good experiences with them. I've been pulled over on every drug I've ever done. The worst was acid. But the cop let me go. I was doing 52 in a 35, tripping on acid, for my FIRST TIME. I still don't know how I got away with that one.

I was in college and my friend Skeletor came down with some premium tabs. We dropped a few around 10:00pm and started our night. Somewhere along the line, we decided it would be a good idea to jack some kayaks and slide them down this big grassy slope by the track, since it was wet with sprinkler juice. So here we are, running across a well lit field, carrying a kayak, giggling like clay aiken. As soon as we approach the top of the hill, we hear a siren play across campus (or so we thought) and saw a cop roll out from the security office. They were real cops, not toy agents of University.

So we drop the kayak and haul ass to my truck. I'm freaked the fuck out by now. It's like 3am and we're zooming away from the college when the lights show up in the rear-view. I stop and light my cigarette. But I lit the filter. I try again, this time with success.

The cop asks me why I was driving so fast.

"I don't know,' I replied, eyes big as this guy's balls.
"Well, where you headed?""
"To the mountains to camp," I say.
"OK, drive safe, and slow down,'" he replies.

That was it. So we take off to the mountains and spend the rest of the night sitting on the hood of my truck, listening to Prety Hate Machine and marveling at what just happened. But when we returned the following morning, we caught some Z's in the lobby by my room, as to not wake up my pretentious roommate. Around 7am, some cops and the Dorm manager come up to us and ask to see my vehicle.

The stupid bitch manager thinks that we stole a yellow backpack the previous night, since we were reported as being out and about. (small college) So I take her to my truck, so them the inside and she has the balls to ask to look inside my backpack (green). I say no. She looks expectantly at the cops. They ask. I say, "No, I've cooperated enough this morning, and have done nothing wrong."

So they leave. Good thing, since I had over 30 hits of acid in that backpack and each hit can be charged as one count of manslaughter.